HNY, Vanessa 🌟.

That’s was all you could do… emotionless and idk what’s your motive of sending me such a text. My heart still breaks, and I wish I coukd move on quicker but the heart doesn’t budge without the test of time.

My heart feels like a thousand arrows have pierced through it, and it’s bleeding profusely.

So much as I missed old memories of us, the future will not hold further memories like that of. I need to let go yet have a heart of gratitude.

You were my first love, the worst heartbreak ever. I think I’ll forever have those memories embedded in my heart as what they always say about first loves.

I’m excited for you, as much as I am excited for me. And I do love you and want the best for you altho I can’t have you in my life. Somethings is better appreciated from a distance just like the fireworks I saw in the night sky at the countdown yesterday.

You are my firework, my spark, my desire.

Goodnight my lost-love, HNY 2 you too.

Breaking up again just before my birthday and Xmas. I guess I am not a very strong person… I had really fallen so deep for another.. and nothing wrong with that.

Just really missed us and having a person to talk to and just do life with. I feel so hurt and all alone in breakups. I used to sleep it away.. maybe this time I’ll work too. Sighs. Goodbyes are just tough la. Briefing alone as relationships are only made up of two ppl and no one can really grief with u. I wish I had God in my life .. cos knowing that someone uds me n uds my life helps. I really really loved n I just fear loving anyone agn. Idk when and how but I dont think I can love agn or trust anyone agn. Try to catch rest n sleep Van. Be there for urself n stay strong ok? I love you, a lot. And pls stop thinking of jumping off a building as that won’t solve anything yeah. I known logic dnt work when ur feelings are s overwhelming. Anyways I have lots to do n look forward to, so just live on ok? I know I have got what it takes.

As much at it still comes back to haunt me once in awhile, I am coming to accept tht I am a single now and I have loads of freedom and time with myself, it has been surfacing many things and I am tryna take things one step at a time.

And also I gave myself a smile n pat my own head for a good job for surging this far. You have grown vanz, and I am proud of you!

Thankful for everything! & looking forward to what singlehood can show me

Don’t know what to say, too tired to say also.

Feeling so tired lately.

The chase for money and status and power, I am like hooked. Time to chill the fuck out.

I am worthy, and doing A-ok. VAN WAKE UP. Check in with urself Tmr 👌🏻 bck to work .

1. WeTheFarm

2. Lunch @ Shen & Co.

3. Wash Levona’s Film

4. Visited a random pop up store

5. Loiter at Funan Mall

6. Had a dark choco icecream and drink

7. Hair cut and treatment

8. Dinner at Bugis Junction FC

Bonus: won some apparels from @UNRIVALED

I doubt you miss me. But I know I do and I still love u. Not doubt about my love for you but I have to leave n move on no matter how hard it is for me. I hope you are happier on the other side. Not sure if you actually did have feelings for me … but it’s ok cause I know I did, and actually lost myself in the process of tryna love u . I loved you more than myself. That I know and till I stop hurting I think only I can love n learn to trust agn. Till then I’ll be alone… patiently healing n mending to my broken heart.

The break has been healthy, I am coping well alone, I enjoy time alone now and things are clearer. I can appreciate myself and enjoy my work too. It made me realised tht I don’t need others to be happy and joyful. I just need God n myself… I think it has been really peaceful and although I still have many occasions I cry but I know each day it gets easier n better …as much as I wish u could have loved me … I know in my gut tht you weren’t the one for me… till the last day I had with u.

I think seeing you Tmr at dudu’s wedding will b tough on me but I am strong n I will get thru it. Sighs. I still rmb all the days I would dream of marrying u so tht it could soothe me to slp .. I guess tht was my issue and smtg I had to deal with… I can’t depend on solely a man for my happiness no matter what he has promised me… hope I don’t hold on to these pains n develop trust issues gg forward.

I forgive me, I forgive u. And I hope you forgive us too.

Love u very much … my dear cutie … my fav hooman.