Over the last few weeks, the Lord has placed a heavy burden for me to address the topic of depression.

How do I overcome depression?

First, know that you CAN be free from depression. I understand that there are no two persons struggling with depression in the exact same way. Please, have a little faith, I truly believe that you CAN be freed from the chains of depression. You got to first believe!

Why should you trust what I am saying?

I think it is a matter of whether you want to believe in a success story or not. In the state of depression, HOPE was all I grasped onto. I struggled to find PURPOSE, and my own IDENTITY. But trust me, FREEDOM is possible, no matter how dire your situation may be.

Depression is not a mental “incurable illness”, it is a mental battle, that you CAN win! It is a BATTLE, you must win! Stay with me.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Tim 4:7

However, there is some bad and good news.

The bad news is…

You CANNOT fight this battle ALONE. Trust me, not all things should be done alone, definitely NOT fighting depression. I know, its so much easier to go into ISOLATION giving yourself rational reasons such as “I am already a burden, I won’t want to burden someone else.” No, stop. You aren’t a burden unless someone tells you straight up that you are burdening them. Even if they did tell you straight up, what do they know about you anyways, will you let someone who doesn’t even know you enough affect your life decisions? Let me ask you, do you enjoy helping others? Would you mind helping another depressed person?

Yes, I would feel the same way too. So please, not everyone has the same answer and yet there are people whom are more then happy to help with your situation, so please, try talking to as many people, till you find someone that you can trust with your BATTLE with depression. Preferably someone who has gone through it before, duhhh ~

You are NOT alone. Speak to someone, speak to someone, speak to someone, I can’t stop emphasising the importance of speaking to another human being. These things are common to man, which means there is probably going to be another human in this world that would be able to understand you, don’t give up that hope of finding that someone! (It could even be your Psychiatrist or Counsellor or Friend or even a stranger for all you know) Keep looking! Let that be your purpose in the mean time

The good news that I wanted to introduce to you is that there is a God that loves us so very much, that can give us true purpose and reason to live each day. Give us hope for our future. That God is no other then Jesus Christ. Get to know Him although I know that it can be really daunting in the beginning when placed in certain circumstances. But all I know is that you would never regret knowing Him!

How to break free from depression?

Jesus. He is the answer. He FOUGHT the BATTLE for me. We WON.

He poured His love out for me. He restored me from inside out. He never left me, and now I would never want to leave Him. Try getting to know Him. The fact that you are reading this is that you have access to the net, go look up some verses that you can hold onto. Jesus died for our sins, His blood was shed. And He rose from the dead. The thought that one day I would be able to see Him excites me! Joy, freedom & peace. Never would I have imagined to feel happy let alone joyful, something that comes so naturally to many can be so hard for someone in depression. I know, I’ll try to understand, but first, have alittle faith, get out of bed, freshen up, get something to eat and go for a walk, even some sunshine helps. Drop someone a text, say hello to another HUMAN BEING. Just that one next thing, one step does all the wonders, and I am really glad you made it to the end of this post, am I proud of you! Keep going darling! 😚 May the Lord bless you and keep you and the Lord’s face shine upon you!😄☀️

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him.

Psalms 40:1-3

Pardon my random sequence of thoughts, just wanted to get it out of my system. My heart goes out to all who are struggling with depression, it is a scary place to be in, but please be patient and trust that it will all fall into place with your growing mind that is growing with ounces of knowledge nuggets each minute, one day it will all click into place, really! 😁

Feel free to contact me if you would like to discuss our similarities or differences 🕵🏻‍♂️! Love y’all!

So apparently, I didn’t find the time to reflect on the semester that has past and type it out. Anyways, I am alittle surprised that I was able to get through the semester without any anxiety attacks or panic attacks. God has really been good and He granted me peace like no other throughout my first semester. I would never have gotten through a semester, let alone a day without Him! God, you are so good.

I wouldn’t say the semester was without any challenges, nor was it easy. However, God’s presence and restoration through the reading of His word or worship music has brought me through with a joyful and heart that is at peace. I can’t even begin explaining, you just have got to experience it yourself!

At first, I found His presence was quite overwhelming (a sort of weightiness), but after awhile of getting used to His company, I found comfort in His sweet sweet presence, ahh how relaxing.

I am thankful for the many lovely and talented people I had the opportunity of knowing throughout my semester. I even got the opportunity to learn dance! It was a super cool experience, something wayy out of my comfort zone. without God, I would probably how cowered away in fear.

The things that I feared doing, didn’t have control/power over me anymore. His love simply overwhelms and breaks of all fear! I can’t comprehend with my limited vocabulary, but it is definitely possible! I believe He can and wants to do it for you too! I even tried out wakeboarding, I am amazed by myself, and what God has done to me, its really incredible.

Exam period did almost throw me off my tracks, with the stress kicking in and the pressure I almost got distracted by the challenge infront of me so much that I couldnt trust Him and wanted to depend on my own strength and rational thinking. Thankfully, with the help of my friends in Huddle, I pulled myself back to pause and reflect alittle. Am I starting to strive? Why am I striving? What would striving do? Is it healthy to strive? Finally, I came to a conclusion that striving wasn’t the way to go. I just took one baby step at a time and complete what I could and took ample rest. I enjoyed my exams, it was… relaxing. I never felt at peace doing an exam paper before. Made me wonder, “if only I met Jesus earlier, I would have more peaceful exams prior to University. hmphh.” But, I am so glad that I have God with me now seating through the exams with me, those icy cold halls packed with hundreds of students, it can be really tiring and scary with all the competitiveness and judgement. Without God, I would never have the mental strength to walk into the examination halls. This always makes me wonder.. How can anyone live without God!! Well, we have all been there, in a self-righteous, God-doubting position where we question if there really was a god, and if there was, which god should one believe in, Christianity? Can a god really love us this much? Or at least these were the questions I had prior to knowing Him, my dear Jesus, I am awestruck by you.

Post-finals have been relaxing, have been exploring around with my guitar new finger-style techniques and reading the word more intentionally. To be honest, I wanted to read the whole bible from cover to cover, but I realized I haven’t even been doing my daily devotionals (Gem). So van, you got to discipline yourself and do the small things first before you do the big things, right? Right.

Would be travelling with the youth to Penang – Langkawi for a week (10th – 17th dec) and having a dinner at Carmen’s Place on 17th dec. I am excited to see God working and to enjoy the trip with the youth. Praying for encounters with Him through our trip and also for protection! Amen.

Another end of a hectic week of school. Time really flies. Mid-terms are over and thank God that they went better then expected. I learnt that it is really hard to trust God when He works in ways that are far beyond my understanding.

As the days go by, and choosing to trust in Him strengthens my faith and I would want my faith to be so strong that nothing can pull me away from Him. That’s my one true desire.

It has been a fruitful and enjoyable week in Uni! Praise the Lord for His providence and peace ☺️💓 So much that I would miss living in my hall spending quiet time with Him.

In this post, I would try to illustrate my spiritual encounters and walk with Him!

Monday:

• I had 3 lectures (Geology, Math and Physics)
• Got to meet up with Hui L to catch up and get some work done together! Enjoyed the time we had together though time flew by quickly!
• Physics Tut – the teacher was a young woman who was quite enthusiastic! Was in the same lecture as my OG friends! Great to know people in my tut class 🙂

Tuesday:

• Had geology lecture in the morning and had a chance to have lunch with an OG friend. Had a great time of conversation 🙂
• Went to the Environmental Laboratory for my lab class. A friend from my OG last year happened to be in my group! Wow! Always nice to know someone prior. And two of my other group mates were rather friendly too! We worked really well together, and since I have done the lab session before, I was able to guide the group without much help from the teacher in charge! Always glad to be of help and I really enjoy teaching as teaching helps me to gain a deeper understanding of the subject!
• In the beginning of the session, a voice of distraction spoke in my head,”Van, you have already done this before, just slack la. Use your phone, play some games.” Then I thought to myself, who was that? Would this be what God want me to do? What is your purpose here in NTU van? Is this aligned with His will for you? I quickly prayed to repent that I thought of slack and ask the voice to get out of my head. The Holy Spirit started to guide my thoughts to be aligned with what God wanted me to do. Felt Holy Spirit prompting me to speak life to the people in my group and help them along with uni life (2 of them are freshies in Direct 2nd year). I got to know them and I am really glad to know them as we can help one another along the way, and later in the week we happened to have same classes (that I didnt know and if I didnt use this chance to get to know them, I probably would not have a chance to connect with the direct year 2’s in my course!) Thank you Lord! Anyways, I was guided by HS to be the light in my class, to be present and authentic, and learn as much as I can from the lesson as it would be used for His glory! God my strength is in you! 🙂 thank you Lord for your guidance 😫💓. I felt that this was a confirmation from the Lord of what He placed me in where I was for! I am encouraged! 🙂
• Later on after Lab session, some of the newly made friends were also in my class for Eng Comm! Always great to know people prior to the lesson! Another confirmation from the Lord!
• After my class which ended at 6.30pm, the Holy Spirit again prompted me to go for Bible study, which I rushed over Church Office for the summary of Philippians, it was a fruitful one and glad to be able to attend!

Wednesday

• Physic Lec in the morning which I was 30mins late but still managed to answer the daily grade quiz (Learning Cat) on the bus to the LT. Glad I was still able to understand the content taught
• Went to meet mentor F at Orchard for lunch and we went to Muji to get some stationary 🙂
• Had to rush back for hall dinner, but before Hall Dinner, I happened to bump into a friend staying on my level hence she came to my room for a chat before we headed down together. Small HTHT are so important, and God really places people in the right places and opportunities in the right timing! Reminded me of God’s timeliness!
• Had a drinking session after 11pm.
• Reach back to hall at 2+pm and when I was showered, I suddenly felt a sense of fear rush over me. Felt a “dark presence” in the toilet. I hastily prayed in tougues and the authority of Jesus over the place and the presence left the toilet. Its my first time first hand experiencing the Lord’s authority over a spiritual being. Although it all happened really quickly, and it was a powerful experience. I see His authority and power over the spiritual force, super encouraging to me!
• After that, my friend ask if I could go shower with her, but since I already showered, I waited in the “hand washing” area to accompany her at around 3am at night

Thursday

• For my 3hrs issues lecture, my newly made Lab Friends invited me to join them, yay, so I sat next to them and they intro-ed me to the other ene year 2 students. Ptl!
• During the break, I asked my lecturer how come my name wasn’t in the list for the groupings for presentation. Then the prof asked me to email the prof in charge.
• I emailed the prof and he told me that I could CHOOSE my own team (I mean wow, got so good arh? I saw one group only 2 people, the rest all 4 people. Can just add me to any group meh?) So I chose a group with my newly made friends which was just introed to me by my newly made friends from yesterday’s lab sess. Tbh, I am really wow-ed by the Lord’s providence and timing. His promises are true!
• I also got a chance to have breakfast with an OG friend! Really nice how the Lord filled my time last minute with a purpose!
• Math tut was quite crazy, I think the teacher wasn’t very good as he was just writing out he workings that only he could understand and did not really engage the class for our udsing and response.
• At night, I stayed up till 4+am. Felt something again, but I knew I had authority in Christ, so I prayed in tongues and His blood over my room. Protection over me. I woke up with three parallel scratch lines on my thigh. Not sure why but I will continue to pray His protection over me as the spiritual warfare is real!

Friday

• tgif!
• No classes today
• Met wen at 4pm. Had high tea.
• Shan came to join us, spoke about our primary school days. Mentioned a friend named Samantha who had the same birthday as me.
• During dinner, me and wenlin were walking back to CO from aperia when we bumped into her. How cool is that! God’s timing really 🙂
• Huddle was refreshing! Spontaneous worship session with Christy and Simon. Prayed for Ps G and her hubby.

Chanced upon this book that particular stood out to me. I was wondering how to practice my faith in a world of different beliefs, values and filled with many temptations. This book really pulls me back to the Reason why I came to know God and gives me many many more reason to believe in Him.

Here are my takeaways in my own personalized simple terms for the Author has written in a robust manner, I attempt to portray a shadow of the text in my layman terminology.

Introduction

• Major Universities, media companies and elite institutions are heavily secular, they say, and they control culture.
• Is skepticism or faith on the ascendancy in the world today? Yes!
• Skepticism, fear and anger towards traditional religion are growing in power and influence. But so are beliefs in traditional faiths.
• Unable to discern a viable alternative way of life and thought due to 3 main barriers which were interlinked (due to stark contradicting ideas impose by teachers of author’s confirmation class)
  1. Intellectual Barrier
     • Being confronted with many tough questions on Christianity
  2. Personal, Interior Barrier
     • As a child, the plausibility of faith can rest in the authority of others.
     • As an adult, there is a need for personal, firsthand experience as well.
     • Never having experienced God’s presence personally.
     • Faith journeys are never simply intellectual exercises.
  3. Social Barrier
     • Yet to find a group of Christians who had a concern for justice in the world but who grounded it in the nature of God rather than in their own understanding.
• We have come to a cultural moment in which both skeptics and believers feel their existence is threatened (in some degree) as both secular skepticism and religious faith are on the rise in significant and powerful ways.

A Divided Culture

• Most people inherited rather than chose religious faith
• However, now, inherited faith are aging and losing members rapidly.
• People are opting for a non-religious life, for a non-institutional, personally constructed spirituality, or for orthodox, high commitment religious groups that expect members to have a conversion experience.
• Therefore, the population is paradoxically growing both more religious and less religious at once.
• Because doubt and belief are each on the rise, our political and public discourse on matters of faith and morality has become dead-locked and deeply divided.
• Arguments depends on having commonly held reference points that both sides can hold each other to.

A Second look at doubt

• Let’s look at doubt in a radically new way
• A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it. (it is okay to question you faith to be able to strengthen it)
• Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts – not only their own but their friends’ and neighbors’.
• Only if you struggling long and hard enough with your own objections to your faith will you be able to provide grounds for your beliefs to skeptics, including yourself, that are plausible rather than ridiculous or offensive.
• Such a process would also lead me to respect and understand those who doubt/have a different faith.
• Learn to look out for reasons behind your faith.
• All doubts are just really a set of alternate beliefs.
• You cannot doubt another belief without a position of faith. Every doubt, therefore, is based on a leap of faith.

In the first seven chapters Keller looks at seven of the most common objections and doubts about Christianity and discerns the alternate beliefs underlying each of them. This section is titled “The Leap of Doubt” and answers these seven common critiques:

1. There can’t be just one true religion
2. A good God could not allow suffering
3. Christianity is a straitjacket
4. The church is responsible for so much injustice
5. A loving God would not send people to hell
6. Science has disproved Christianity
7. You can’t take the Bible literally

In the second half of the book, titled “The Reasons for Faith,” he turns to an examination of seven reasons to believe in the claims of the Christian faith.

1. The clues of God
2. The knowledge of God
3. The problem of sin
4. Religion and the gospel
5. The (true) story of the cross
6. The reality of the resurrection
7. The Dance of God