Sighhssss… work is so tiring.

Work is great but I just feel so tired, no time for fun and games T_T

But I am super thankful for the new things I am learning! 

Now I am thinking of my next career plan, I am not too sure what I want to do or how I am going get a real job.. but others can do it, I am pretty sure i can too!

I guess I can ask my friends who have already graduated to see their views and what company would be suitable for thyself…the starting pay for Environmental Engineers is $3500 TT its so little… taking away CPF ill be left with $2800… which is only slightly more than what I am earning rn :O… 

I am reaching my first $10k soon… I am thankful for the journey and all the opportunities given to me to grow and flourish… I hope things will go well… I am uncertain of what the future holds >_< 

Gotta read up on stories of how people get into their first dream job… research timeee T_T

I am kinda worried although I know in due time things will play out fineeee 

Just now bb n I went to HDB for BTO sales… i worry we dont have enough for our future… but i guess one step at a time yeah… others can do it , i think we would be able to as well. 

For me, slow and steady wins the race… but for bb, he is a risk taker and sometimes it does scare me. But i love him for the way he is.. he is a courageous person, doing the impossible… sighs… i hope things go up from here! hope my frugal mindset will help us reach our goal faster. 

Next year’s goal… get $4000k a month (excluding CPF). Dont know what other side hustles I could do but we shall see how it plays along. my current time schedule… soso packed//never thought adult life is liddis. Me wondeer how all the adults are surviving on their tiny paychecks. I guess ill find out soon. God bless us in this journey ><.

With $4000/mth if i can save $3000/mth –> $36k/year –> could I gain my first $100k in 2.5years? 

if we have 6% returns PA on the $100k –> $500/mth. and if we could just do simple jobs to survive and live on $500/mth + whatever we made on the extra job(s).. wont that be fun?  idk haha just a dream! 

i guess i would aim $100k by 28. This is my journey and its good to have some goals!! 

Will update you all when I hit my first $10k

8.30am -5.30pm work, was fun!

7-9pm tuition class — was super enjoyable hehe.

Now On my way home, satisfied with myself. Proud of my hard work.

Haven’t eaten yet. Gg home to cook fish n some carbo.

Justin’s last day today

Finally got to do 3D modelling of Punggol Precincts !! So funn

累。

Today work was pretty crazy, generated some plots for boss and read through like 20 research papers… was also chatting on WhatsApp most of the time haha.

Bought myself a boost just now too…

Now having bad tummy pains n pooping for the 3rd time today… now my poop is flowing like water :((

This morning and last night my eyes were so itchy and I couldn’t sleep well zz

But thankfully wasn’t late for work even when I left house 8mins later then the usual. Keke. Please don’t make it a habit ok Van?

I came home and watched netflix till now… tummy ache so no appetite 🥹🥲 I hope I get well soon!

Looking forward to work tomorrow:)

Just finished my dinner, phew thankful I could stomach quite abit. Now still feeling super weak… drinking a can of H-TWO-O drink to refill my electrolytes.. hope I’ll be well Tmr for another day of hustle… goodnight world 🌎… thank you God for my life… my heart is full ❤️🥰

Tbc

Had a long day today…

My supervisor was in office today and he gave us many task to work one, I really love the challenge and I am enjoying the grind at work daily 🙂

Work was from 8:30am to 5:30pm and then I grabbed an egg Prata at Compass One then headed off to teach an EMath tuition class from 7pm to 9pm.

I will definitely look back at these days working hard for my future self to have more freedom.

I love work and life, one does not exist without the other. We must grow in both, in parallel to one another.

I can’t wait to unleash my potential! Cant wait to see what tomorrow May bring. I thank God for all the blessings I have in my life, a stable job and great friends around me… God you are so good. May I dwell in ur joy n peace the rest of my days! Amen!!

Boring work day. Boss Eng Yong wasn’t at work TT.

Was just running code the whole day in my super freezing office. Didn’t bring an extra jacket today.

Was waiting till I could meet Nick at night!

Met Nick and we had Jap Wagyu — thanks bb for the treat!

I had fun playing on the swings and the rolling chairs. Thank you God for today!

Ended the day catching up with many friends from ard the world: Chi, Phuong, Julaina & Joanne

Life is so fun!! Let’s work hard towards our goals friends. Passive income n financial freedom.

Hi all, sorry for not consistently updating and getting all caught up with life. I really love writing and I think it would be healthy for me to express myself as such. It is definitely a good way to pen down random thoughts and ideas that comes to me in the moment.

Work has been challenging but satisfying. Things that doesn’t challenge us is kinda hindering our growth don’t you think?

I was looking at wedding bands just now and thought I would put them here as something I look forward to/ used to look forward to.

I find it fascinating how fast things we use to value so much fades with time, once we have gotten to that milestone, we don’t stop to express our gratitude, joy and satisfaction. That is what I swear to so in my milestones ahead, I am going to celebrate each one, even my first REAL job, first house, first $10k? &100k? $1mill? Who says it’s impossible?

I want to date to dream and dare to achieve if not never then when? If not me, then who will? I want to have desires, I want to love fiercely and strive fiercely.

Of course God HAS TO BE in the centre, my core, my purpose, my ONLY FOUNDATION.

I won’t be alive today without God’s love, and love I have received from His people.. the people whom have been offering me guidance till this very day.

Well.. today I realised that I have been battling with DD.. now so many things make sense… my Low sensations, my lack of emotions, people not knowing how I truly feel, being unable to be “me” (guess I can’t tap on my own heart and hence can’t access my emotions which are so impt to who I view myself as and what are my wants and needs)

I guess this is smtg I have to work on.. sitting with myself and tapping on my own emotions daily.. slowly making it a habit and finally being able to express myself properly.

I gotta take time and energy to do this.. for me, and also for the people ard me.. gg to take a leap of faith and courage to confront my emotions head on and really just sit with them no matter how scary they may be.

Right now, I am just gobbling up a tub of icecream and reading up other’s stories of recovery and hopefully gleaning something tht I can adapt and use too myself.

I will get through this. Time for me to grow up emotionally! 🙂 I’m EXCITED. ✨✨✨ <— see , I have emotions. Just need to tap on em more often then not.

Xx, Van.

Dear the love of my life,

Not sure if it would be you but I would like to write this message to you.

To you, whom I love. Loving you was our choice, we had dreams and saw a future together.

We thought we had it all planned out, we loved so much and had so many memories together.

The times you would fetch me and we hang out under the stars and spoke for hours on end… it seemed like my entire universe expanded because we met. We learnt so much from and of one another, the journey seemed endless.

We had the most intimate of moments, even the fun things like you carrying me up and just showering me with ur kind words and obsessing over the chemistry we had together.

I wanted to write this in case one day, if fate doesn’t allow us to work out, at least….I would remember you and the love we had between us.

Loving you was a blessing…

And it also hurt at times.

Right now is one of the points I feel like giving up… because… your obsession over me… sad to say has been suffocating to me… to a point that I can’t be fully transparent with you in fear of ur reaction..

It really hurts me to say…visuallizing a future together is a blur for me now..

This past of urs has a hold of u, and I really don’t know how I could possibly help or satisfy those demons of urs….😢😭I know it is not ur fault..

I’m sad that…those demons are dragging you away from me… from my possible future with you. Babe, I know you are struggling too.. and it really sucks that idk how to ask those demons to loosen their grip.. I am so tired babe.. those demons are so powerful, I am so tired.. so so tired, and I bet you have been too.. the only solution is get rid of demons , if not theyll just keep consuming u.. consuming us. Keep holding on ok baby.. I am coming for you and I want to fight for us… if u would let me

My love for you was so natural and beautiful.. no matter what the future holds for us.. I would never know.

But one thing is for sure is tht I know I would never regret loving you…you are such a loving and amazing person..

So much I want you to be mine forever… this love is sucking away all my energy and I have to runaway for awhile. I hope you know that I will always love you… your smile, your voice… all of you, and all that you will be.

I miss you so much… and it hurts so bad. I will be praying to God .. pls..make us work out… because you are such a beautiful soul to me…make it work Pls God pls, :((

Whatever it is. I hope and wish the best for you.. for us. If God wills.

– Your cutie.